Friday, April 9, 2010

Shes All Mine

I'm the one who threw up everyday for 9 months strait,
I'm the one that gave up my whole entire life for her,
I'm the one that quit all my social life for her,
I'm the one that cried to my belly every night,
I'm the one that finished High School with a baby,
I'm the one that gave up dance,
I'm the one that loved her first,
I'm the one that changed all the diapers,
I'm the one that woke up every night with a crying baby,
I'm the one that went to ER alone with her,
I'm the one that worked and spent every last penny on her,
I'm the one that had to watch you abuse my dad with my baby in your arms,
I'm the one who had to watch every movement I did because I wanted my daughter safe,
I'm the one who gave up EVERYTHING FOR HER.
I don't understand how somebody who can give up everything and never see their kids can be called a dad?
It doesn't make sence to me.
It bugs me.

I am stuck in a wierd trans this week. I love Taylee with all my heart. It's just been hard realizing that I became a mom when I was only 17. It's literally crazy. When your so young you think everything will be perfect and you don't realize you had to do it all by yourself.

I see pictures of myself in High School and I never thought of dreamed of becoming a mom a few months later. It's crazy...............................

Actually I dont do it by myself anymore. I have an amazing amazing man in my life. He loves Taylee more then anything. I am so grateful Tyler and I have to go to parent Taylee by ourself for the last 9 months. It's been great. He is amazing with her.

Sometimes I just don't know how I do it. When everybody was in dance at school I was home barfing my guts out.

Yesterday I had the hardest day of my life. I had a job interview and It literally took me 5 hours to get ready? all dang morning!!!!!!! Because once I sit down to do something Taylee needs me. or my mom wants me to do something, it was a never ending day. I'm glad today is a new day...

.... thats all.


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